This Is Your Defining Moment
Ever think, “how did I get here, this very point, what things conspired and came together to put me in this exact place in my life?” It’s fascinating how every little moment, every decision, every turned down invitation, and every “I think I’ll take a new route to work today” shape our future. It seems simple enough. We already know what we do today matters tomorrow. Most people label “defining moments” as a pivotal life changing event or opportunity, like moving across the country for a new job or getting a face tattoo or preforming on stage even though it feels like your stomach irreversibly knotted itself in a million different directions. But what if our “defining moments” were much smaller than that? So small that we sometimes brush them off as everyday occurrences without even giving them a second thought.
Example – I am definitely in the top 5% category for most dramatic actress of the century. Sickness? More like impending slow agonizing death. Cramps? Can’t move from my bed for 24 whole hours and please do not even think about speaking to me. Toothache? Go ahead Doc, pull all of my teeth out, I’d rather be toothless than suffer, even if the Advil will kick-in in 30 minutes.
Most recently, I wasn’t feeling well. Allergies. It felt like I was 300,000 ft in the air and small oxygen bubbles were bursting in my brain causing brain bleeds and muscles tears and something else super horrible I can’t think of at the moment. As I lay in bed, obsessively watching the minutes pass on my phone until the inevitable chirping of my alarm would betray me, gauging how sick I felt, convincing myself that this feeling for sure warranted me a call out or at least a few extra hours off my shift. I text the draft to my manger and before I could re-read what I was about to send … I had another thought. I thought, what if this right now, in this moment, was most definitely, without a doubt, a defining moment in my life? How will this play out? What if what I decide today will map out so much more than just tomorrow or next week but next year, the next 5 years?
Why? Several reasons. Mainly, it wasn’t about using my sickness as validation for why I shouldn’t go into work. It was about being able to distinguish between mind over matter and prioritize what is important, what my key responsibilities are as an adult, and self motivation. All that Jess? DRAMATIC! …. Tell me about it! I could have called out. My mangers wouldn’t have been mad. I wouldn’t have missed anything special at work. I would be able to keep my job. I would have gone to work the next day and resumed where I left off. I soon realized it wasn’t about facing consequences at work. It was about facing consequences in my own life.
Calling out would have been falling victim to the voice in my head that convinces me of a million and one excuses to not commit to something that I am capable of doing just because it’s causes some discomfort. It would be giving in and justifying skipping out on responsibilities just because I had a “valid” excuse. More over, it would mean weakening my ability to self-motivate towards something that it right thing to do. It seems like no big deal. It’s just one call out. But it is also all of the much smaller micro-details leading up/causing the call out that make it a much larger deal. Today work. Tomorrow sitting passenger seat, immobile, as my dream crash and burn.
Our decisions, even the smallest ones, are so much more than yes’ and no or calling out or changing your mind about that party. Don’t get me wrong now, please do not start analyzing why you choose pepperoni over cheese pizza, that isn’t the point. The point is to become more mindful of even our “less dramatic” choices and hone into why it is we are doing what we are doing because truth be told, isn’t every decision, choice, or action a defining moment in its own right?
I believe that when we are internally more aware of why it is we do what we do, think how we think, take action on what we choose to stand on, we can better navigate our journey through life. We can better see where we were and where we are going without all of the foggy haze. We are more open to change and growth. We are more accepting of what is and what isn’t and how to achieve what we set out to do without added hurdles.